You know when you really want to do something, but somehow there's never enough time to do it, or there's always something more urgent or important going on? That's how this month has been for me. I have the idea on how to improve the subplot for Two Sparks Of Mystery (book 2 in the Abigail Palmer series), but somehow, I haven't had the time or mental space to sit down and do the actual writing.

Enter: Productive Procrastination.

I'll explain. I went to a publishing conference in London earlier this month, which was great, and one of the tasks we had to do was filling out a workbook as we went through the day. I'll be honest: at first, I groaned inwardly. I'd gone to hear about publishers who were further along their journey, and to socialise with fellow author-entrepreneurs, not to do homework.

However, mostly because I didn't want to stand out, I diligently filled in each page as prompted by the organisers, and, at the end of the day, I realised something, which in retrospect, was really obvious. What I really wanted to do was write, and that was the one thing I hadn't done in months.

I got home and (mostly) rested for the rest of the week (socialising always takes a toll on me, AuDHD brain), then decided I needed some proper time off... Long story short (sorry!), I did manage to take 3 days off from all things publishing, and something clicked. I was addicted to analysing, well, everything. I was checking book sales multiple times a day, tracking back which piece of marketing may have brought in those sales, then, if they came from an ad, how many people had clicked etc, etc.

I was (very actively) engaging in productive procrastination, because, maybe, possibly, I was afraid I couldn't make Two Sparks Of Mystery as good as A Slice Of Mystery?

Fear is powerful and controlling, but being aware of it is the first step. I am going to be taking a giant step back from trying to be an expert in all the marketing things, and instead focus on writing, the activity that does bring me joy. Maybe readers will find my books on their own, maybe readers will tell their friends, families, bookclubs, knitting circles, gym coach and everyone they meet about my books, I don't know, but either way, I will be doing the things I enjoy, and not the things that, as interesting as they are to me (I looooove learning new skills), are sucking up the life out of me while simultaneously raising my stress levels through the roof.

It's the strangest feeling when you know you've read a number of books in a month, but you cannot recall a single one. The only one that did stick is one by a French contemporary author (Patrick Cauvin) - I discovered his writings as a teenager, and I love his prose and his stories, however, he passed away a few years ago, and, while he was prolific, it means there's only a finite amount of his novels I haven't read, so I'm taking my time, being careful not to binge all his unread books at once, savouring each word, each sentence, each unusual expression.

What have you read recently that stayed with you, or inspired you? It doesn't have to have been published recently, I'm just looking for stories I'll love!

Spring is here, and the fruiting trees in my (small) garden have burst into delicately-scented pink and white flowers, while the blue tits are investigating the bird box once more. It sounds mundane, but it's the little things that delight me, just like seeing the first bumblebee of the year, and I'm happy to be present enough to notice them.

Eleven days to go before A Slice Of Mystery is officially released (April 7th), and I am terrified, but I refuse to let it stop me from living. I will be sending a quick email on the day to celebrate with you, but I promise I will otherwise stick to my regular schedule of "last Friday of the month round-up."

P.S.: I almost forgot! If you are on The StoryGraph, there is a readalong where you can discuss the book and its characters!

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